IN A NUTSHELL: Midterm Conference Day 2

Eikaiwa Coolness I went to Erik and Rhodri's workshop this morning, mostly 'cause I looked over Erik's presentation yesterday and it looked like a lot of random fun. And it was! The little he had time to show us was great. Besides the Australian and New Zealand items and currency, he showed us these great images: One was of this ragged-looking group of people in orange jumpsuits and cloth headbands. At first look, one would think (though maybe not say out loud because We are not Judgmental) that they looked like terrorists. Actually, they were astronauts who had just returned from a rigorous survival course. Then there was a decades-old advertisement that showed Ronald Reagan peddling cigarettes for Christmas. He also had a picture of parents rolling their septuplets in 2 super strollers. Conclusion: use more images at Eikaiwa.

How Many Italians Do You See Around Here? When I went with some people for lunch, I was disappointed to discover they chose an Italian place. Japan does not do Italian well (and I'm also spoiled since I partake of New York / New Jersey Italian (the BEST) every year.) To make it worse the line was SLOW and took forever. I ordered a panini, but they did not have the one I wanted, so I ordered different one. Then we sat down and our very simple order took FOREVER to come. It was already five until one (when the afternoon stuff started) and we were about a five minute walk away. I finally grabbed a waitress and asked if we could have our order to go because it was late. There was confusion about a to-go salad and that, on top of the fact that I seemed to be the only one concerned about punctuality, made it so we didn't leave until after one. Very luckily, the afternoon guest speaker started late (and massive numbers of people did not show up, which was too bad for them, because the next speaker alone would have been worth the trip!)

Karen Anton Hill This woman rocks! Besides being an excellent speaker (and presumably an excellent writer since she wrote a column for The Japan Times for years and years) she has the most unique story I've ever heard. She left New York in her twenties and went, with her husband and young daughter, on a long road trip in a Volkswagen Bug. Not only through the United States, but through Eastern Europe, then through the Middle East (through places like Afghanistan even! She lamented that such a trip is impossible today) and ended up in Japan. They moved to the countryside in mid-honshu and built a house! They lived there for years, had a couple more children and still live in the same area today (though not in the same house.) Although this will reveal my lack of colorblindness, I have to mention this because it makes her story that much more unique: they are a multiracial couple, her being black and her husband, white. Ironically that puts them under the same category in Japan ("gaijin") so they were probably hassled less than if they had stayed in New York City. She showed slides of her multi-lingual children (their first language was actually Japanese) and her house filled with her calligraphy. I could have listened to this woman tell anecdotes about her life all day! She was awesome!

Why I Love Japan Karen told us during her question and answer session at the end that she is most often asked "Why Japan? Why do you stay in Japan?" As she answered, it kind of got me thinking, too. Why did I come back to live in Japan? What is it about Japan that makes it a place I enjoy to live? I think I can finally answer that in words and my reasoning revolves around the most fundamental of Japanese concepts: Harmony. The idea of harmony is so intertwined in Japanese culture that the kanji character for "harmony" has also come to mean "Japanese-style" for any number of things like Japanese-style food, Japanese-style paper, Japanese-style drum. The list in my dictionary is long, but even the cover of my dictionary uses the harmony character for "Japanese" in "Japanese-English." Although one could say that Japan stifles individualism and rewards conformity, it also creates order, security, and harmony. Both have advantages and disadvantages, but coming from a more individualistic society, I can appreciate that order. There are polite set-phrases for everything that everyone agrees on and doesn't mind using over and over. I think, back home, we don't like to be like everyone else. We invent variations on "How are you?" all the time and create even more unique answers. The Japan way may be boring and predictable (though quite a relief for the learner who just has to learn the one set phrase and a couple responses) but in that predictability is a sense of security in knowing you said the right thing. There are other more tangible aspects about Japan I appreciate: I feel safer here than any of the other places I've lived and people, in general, are not as physically aggressive. People here are fairly neat and clean (a behavior, I'm finding, that is taught from early childhood) despite their hesitation to use chemicals or soap a lot. Another bonus: yummy food! There are the complaints about Japan as well and some catch-up work the women of this country have to do but, in general, it is socially accepting and comfortable. For me, who is not hugely outgoing, it is comforting to know that if I am friendly, a perfect stranger will be friendly back. It is nice to know that nearly every place of business I walk into, I will be treated with respect. (Unless it's the immigration office...) I can see how a Japanese, faced with American culture, would have a hard time of it. It takes some strength of individual character to be able to face the "chaos" that Americans face all the time but it takes a trusting nature to be able to lean on those around you and know they will support you and that is what Japanese society offers. Harmony.

Oh, and did I mention the karaoke?

IN A NUTSHELL: Two Towers. All Day.

Tricksy Hobbitses I took a couple breaks for food during my watching. As I moved quickly through my cold house, my eyes would fall upon all the stuff I had to do - my long list of people to email and things to get done sitting on my table. "Maybe I'll do them in an hour," I thought. Didn't happen. Instead, I listened to the Director's Commentary, which was really fascinating, and, after another lingering glance at my to-do list, watched the special features while comfy warm under my electric blanket.

IN A NUTSHELL: Money, Money, Money

Timing the Walk I wanted to see how long it took me to walk to the Junior High, in case I ever have the motivation to do it. So I walked to the bank (read: farmer's cooperative) to get the money I needed for my trip to Hokkaido in the first week of February. I got the (gasp) eight hundred bucks out - well it does include a plane ticket, a lift ticket, and hotel - and it took about 20 minutes one way. Always good to know. Well, for the rest of the day, I did my typical weekend things. Did some journal writing, some studying (I have to study about three kanji a day if I want to know enough to pass the Level 2 test at the end of the year) and tried not to think about the fact that I have elementary lessons for the first time in awhile tomorrow and I still am not sure what I'm doing for the fifth and sixth graders.

Monday, Jan 19

IN A NUTSHELL: Mr. Wolf and Too Many Screwdrivers

It's That Dreamy Beeping Sound My alarm went off this morning, but I managed to insert the sound into my dream every five minutes (the snooze interval) for nearly an hour. I've been using this alarm clock that I hate for almost four years. Two reasons I hate it: One, the snooze is five minutes, not ten, and Two, I can't change the time the alarm goes off right after it beeps or it moves the hour hand, too and changes the entire time. I need a new alarm clock. I don't know why I keep stalling. I guess I'm hitting my mental procrastination snooze button.

Instant Exercise Everyone's energy was up and since these were my first classes of the New Year, I wanted to start it off well. It was a cold, wintry day today, so what better way to warm up than to play "What Time Is It, Mr. Wolf?" For those who don't know, this is a great kids game (works for native English speaking kids just as well - I know from experience) that involves lots of running around. One person stands at one end (of the gym, in this case) and everyone else stands behind a line on the far end. As one, everyone asks, "What Time Is It, Mr. Wolf?" The kid on the end answers "3 o'clock" or whatever he likes, and the kids take 3 (or whatever) steps forward. When, after several repetitions, they've gotten close enough, the kid answers "Dinner Time" and tries to tag someone else, who is then the next wolf. Variation: instead of "Dinner Time," say "Midnight" and the person closest has to go back to the beginning. Works well when you don't want to have kids running all over the place. In my case, though, I was all for the running around so I could a: wear them out and b: warm up! I forgot to bring my indoor gym shoes, as opposed to my regular indoor shoes, into the elementary school so I was in an unheated gym in SOCKS. Brrr.

Happy (and Fine, and So-so, and Sleepy) Kids For my 1st and 2nd graders, who are learning numbers, I did a variation of the Mr. Wolf game where they just asked "How Many?" instead and the Wolf just called out a number. They caught on a lot quicker than the third graders. For my 5th and 6th graders, I played a cutthroat game of Simon Says (where I use "Please" instead.) It was ruthless; I had to Speed-play toward the end, when it came down to the last two people; they were NOT going to be tricked. Since the 6th graders were pretty good, I added in saying "girls" and "boys" before saying "please" which made it all the more fun. Afterward, I played a game I can't believe worked so well. I got it directly off of GenkiEnglish.net this morning when I was searching desperately for an activity. Basically, we just went down the semi-circle, each person asking "How are you?" and the next one responding with an answer from the board, where I had earlier drawn a whole bunch of happy (and otherwise) faces, then asking the next person down the line. The key was timing them. The vice-principal was kind enough to show me the Secret Stash of Stopwatches, so I borrowed one. I pretty subtly started the stopwatch (Japanese: "Sutoppu Uotchi") the first time around and wrote down their seconds at the end. My only rule was that they could not repeat the previous answer (i.e. they could not say "Fine" if the last person had.) Then I had them do it again to try to beat their time. They were begging to go around a third time and a fourth time to beat their score. By the last round, they were saying "How are you?" as fast as a native! All 15 kids in the class asked and responded within 32 seconds. I was impressed.

Window Pain During my shower, I noticed my inside screen did not seem as solidly attached as I thought. Sure enough, when I tried it afterwards, there seemed to be a slight gap as if the screen was not in properly. How long had it been like this and does this explain the bugs (and giant spider) that have managed to get in thus far? Anyway, paranoid about future bug invasions, I immediately went to work trying to fix the screen. ("DIY Barefoot in the Bathtub, Starring Melissa") I had to first get over the fear of actually taking the screen off. See, behind the screen is not a window, but ("a mirror?" asks Enigma) slats of glass that open and close like solid mini-blinds. In other words: if those slats are open, nothing is between me and the great outdoors except for this screen that I'm about to remove. However, nothing large came out when I took off the screen. One obstacle down. The tricky part was putting the screen back on correctly. Why? Because the very knob that controls the opening and closing of said glass slats was IN THE WAY. I couldn't slide the top edge in at an angle so I tried putting the screen in upside down, but either way I went, the top edge wanted to be put in first... and I couldn't REACH the top edge. Here, I thought I would be clever and unscrew the stupid knob. I ran barefoot through my freezing house and returned with a handy screwdriver. But it was a small one and I did not have the hand strength to twist it, so I went back down the ice-floor hallway to find the toolkit my predecessor left me. It had an industrial strength screwdriver (with more heads than Phillips ever imagined) so I tried it. Success! Sort of. I unscrewed it, but since it is the knob controls the outdoor slats (duh), it only came out an inch or so. I tried to make very good use of that inch, that angry inch, but it just didn't work. I finally went back to my original method and with lots of grunts and banging as well as using the screwdriver in creative ways (wow, this entire sentence sounds really bad) I clicked the screen into place and put some packing tape on it, just to seal that edge for good. And I was done! Stay tuned to see if there are less bugs from now on. In this case, no news is good news.

Tuesday, Jan 20

IN A NUTSHELL: The "Attack"

Bonding over Soreness I ran into Tomomi in the staff kitchen and we had a really, really nice non-work-related conversation. He really is just the sweetest guy. I found out he had went snowboarding over the weekend for the first time. I told him I knew he must be in serious pain because everyone has pain the first 2-3 days of snowboarding before getting the hang of it. I told him to hang in there a few more times. Actually, I was feeling kind of sore myself and I'm not sure why. Either sympathy snowboard pain, or just because when I exercised the other day, I did it in shorts in an unheated room. My side hurts too. Maybe the coldness is prompting me to spend too much time at my kotatsu on my computer, which is not ergonomically correct. Irk. Anyway, he told me that he never had time to go snowboarding last year because he was a homeroom teacher. He is not one this year, though. (This year, it's Misawa-sensei for the 3rd years, Okumiya-sensei for the 1st years and Matsubara-sensei for the 2nd years.) So my one-day old guilt is gone and I guess he just stays late and is good friends with the kids because that's what Japanese teachers do. (It also explains why Misawa-sensei, the P.E. teacher, is here all hours, though.)

Moral of the Story: If you're Going to Give Kids a Safety Talk, this is One Memorable Way to do it So, it is about ten minutes before the 7th grade class starts and Tomomi casually mentions that we'll be having a 'safety defense training' today. He said that, ten minutes before the end of class, someone will be coming in and he wanted the students to practice moving toward the back of the classroom (while he 'holds off' the perpetrator.) So during class I was paying attention to the clock a little more than normal (I really have to break the habit of looking at the clock all the time during classes.) Tomomi ended the class about fifteen minutes early and explained to the kids that someone was coming in. I thought it was nice and sporting of him to give the kids a heads-up. The kids (and I) kept glancing at the door and I even did a couple tae-kwon-do moves in that direction to the amusement of the kids in the first row. Sure enough, right on time, a shadow appeared at the door. The door slid open then...

... a LARGE man in a white hay-fever mask and sunglasses carrying a knife growled and started taking menacing steps forward. The kids were trying (not very hard) not to laugh and I was trying (trying) to play along and get them to the back of the classroom and out the other door like we were supposed to practice. The kids were just watching it like a play, though. I turn around and...

... Tomomi had picked up a little, green mini stool and was fending off the attacker! Oh my God, I think I will have this Green Stool moment forever in my memory. It was too hilarious! They were fencing, sort of, along the side of the classroom when I think Tomomi must have yelled at the students to get moving because they suddenly listened to me and moved to the back of the classroom. They did not, however, go out the door like they were supposed to since they were having too much fun watching Tomomi fend off the attacker. The "realism" of the moment was sort of shattered when a guy in a suit came to the door and started snapping photos. I suddenly realized that I should look like a good selfless gaijin protector and I went back in the classroom and stayed between the attacker and the kids, but now Misawa-sensei had joined in and there was this double-chair fencing action going on! Even a couple kids were picking up chairs, just for the heck of it. FINALLY, the kids filed out to the (freezing) gym. Once in the gym, everyone was counted. (It kind of looked like the vice principal was seriously saying "Yep, we checked all the rooms and made sure they were clear" but maybe she was just saying "Let's move this to the lunchroom because it's !@#%& freezing in here." After everyone filed out, I caught Misawa-sensei and said, in overly polite Japanese, "Thank you so much for rescuing me." He laughed and said he was actually kind of embarrassed about doing it. I wonder if the 2nd and 3rd years were "attacked" too since our attacker really spent a good long time attacking us. Hmm.

Debriefing A policeman from Miyoshi started talking to all the kids but I kept spacing out. At one point, they introduced the "attacker" (who was standing right next to me, it turns out.) I was debating whether it would have been more effective to leave the attacker's identity a lingering mystery and a seed of doubt, but I was as curious as anyone. Anyway, while we were walking out, the principal said to me, "Were you surprised?" I wasn't sure what he meant. Surely he did not think Tomomi wouldn't warn me. To NOT have told me might have had very bad consequences. The attacker looked realistic enough that I would have thought he was the real deal. I have no idea how I would have reacted, but it probably would be more irrational like running my ass out the door ("I'm outta here, come on kids!") or jumping on the attacker myself (perhaps some of that tae-kwon-do lingers on after ten years) or frightening some emergency operators with frantic Japanglish. Anyway, I doubt very much I would guide the kids anywhere and let Tiny Tomomi (lightweight that he is) take the fall, him and his little green stool.

Brave Tomomi Tomomi was kind enough to return the materials I left behind in the classroom. I told Tomomi he was very brave. He said, in English, "Was I cool?" and I said, emphatically, "You were cool!" It was all very funny. Actually, though, I have to agree that it was very memorable and good practice. This whole safety "demonstration" came about because of a recent story on the news where a stranger walked into a school without deterrence and attacked students. Now our doors are locked a lot more (which is annoying because I haven't gotten a key yet) and people are more paranoid. Back home, I guess, we're more worried about the students attacking than strangers...

Wednesday, Jan 21

IN A NUTSHELL: Melf is Good

A Very Busy Morning I had a very good excuse to skip nursery school today since I had back-to-back classes in the morning (I usually don't even come into the Jr. High on Wednesday mornings, but today we did a "Can Melissa...?" quiz for the 7th graders and a "Let's Draw Three Dogs" comparative activity for the 8th graders.) I decided to be a good girl and go to the nursery school since I hadn't since mid-December. It turned out to be a very good thing. They really missed me and I actually had enough energy to have a lot of fun playing and talking with them (my preschool Japanese is better than ever!) I like hanging out with Kirin (the oldest, the 5 and 6 year olds) when they get together for 'class' which is basically two students telling everyone the date and the weather, the teacher taking attendance, everyone putting a cute sticker in their attendance book and then everyone singing a cute nursery rhyme. At lunch, though, I caused a big to-do by bringing toast instead of rice. All the kids commented on it and meanwhile, I'm thinking, it's in the same food group. I only brought toast, though, because I didn't have time to make rice before I came.

A Good Game As suggested at the conference, I tried out this game in my eikaiwa. Everyone goes around and says two things about themselves that are true and one that is a lie then the others have to guess which is the lie. (I also played this game in Women's Studies class way back when.) It worked surprisingly well; I don't think we all agreed on anyone's lie even once. This is a great ice-breaker. Although I will be coming back from Japan with a head full with random games, I think I'll try to remember this one.

Thursday, Jan 22