IN A NUTSHELL: The Naked Man Festival
Premise: On a winter night, men gather at a shrine wearing naught but a long strip of
loincloth and some sock-like ninja boots to battle over a stick. Yes, a stick.
Point: To prove one's manliness! (And to win a nice wad of cash.)
Note: The "Hadaka Matsuri" I attended tonight is NOT the only Naked Man Festival. In fact, it is not even the main one.
Kui's
evening spectacle only hosts a couple hundred men at most while the midnight festival in Okayama hosts
nearly 10,000 men. (But Okayama is a lot farther of a drive for me and I knew some guys participating in Kui, so...)
I Am the Wrong Turn Queen
After waking up, watching the gripping final episodes of Odoru Daisousasen, and calling Rhodri
to double-check the directions for the town of Kui (about an hour and a half south of me),
I set off. The problem was that Rhodri told
me to get off on 25. There was no 25 on my map and in fact, none of the streets in Kui on my map
had numbers. However, Japanese highways have very good signs, so I was not worried.
When I was in the town with the turnoff, a sign told me that the next right turn
led to Kui, and I believed it, despite that it said 406. I turned and found myself on a very narrow road twisting
up into the hills with a drop off on one side. Some cars were a ways ahead going the same direction as
me, but I did not dare to hope that this was a one-way road. I don't know if there is a road narrow enough
to qualify as 'one way' in Japan. I was just thinking that I did not want to meet a car going another way, when
one of those little white pick-ups headed toward me. We managed to squeeze by each other (me braking until
I was going about 3 mph
and him barely slowing down.) I let out a breath and kept going, thinking, 'Wow, Kui must be small.'
I saw a pull off area and it appeared that the two cars ahead of me were either parking or
turning around. Why would they do that? When I rounded the bend, I understood.
Several firetrucks had suddenly come into view. Cars were parked all along the side of the hill leaving just barely enough room to
get by. I do not know why so many cars were parked, but it did appear that the way was clear
and I was curious, so I kept going forward. However, before I could get far enough to
find out anything, I was stopped by some men
who told me I had to turn around. I pulled into this foresty clearing bit next to a firetruck (that appeared
to be doing routine maintenance... though there was water squirting out of the ground) and let the fellows
guide me back down. Driving down would have been less scary if I had been able to get back to the main road
easily. Instead, a firetruck suddenly came toward me, sirens flashing. I'm like, 'um, there's no
ROOM.' I mean, I barely fit on the road with all these parked cars on it. I obviously could not go backward since they had told
me to turn around up there. Finally, one of the men jogged down and the fire truck backed up a bit.
He guided me to the end of the parked cars, then gave me hand signals to me as I backed as close to the edge of
the hill as I could, so the firetruck could squeeze by. After that firetruck went by, he told me to 'wait' which
was not very encouraging. I had to wait for a couple more cars before he finally gave me the okay. I even passed
another firetruck who was waiting at the turn off area. What the heck is anyone going to do with
that many firetrucks up this tiny hill? Maybe there was a big fire or something, but I didn't see any smoke.
Anyway, I finally made it down and decided that was not the turn Rhodri had meant. (I think the sign
should have read "Well, you can GET to Kui from here, you just don't want to.")
Out Go the Doomed I found highway 25 about ten minutes later, of course.
I was a bit later than I hoped arriving, but it turned out to be no big deal since there was plenty of parking
at Rhodri's apartment building. Tons of people had gathered in his cute one-bedroom apartment and more were arriving
every few minutes. Three Bihoku-area guys were going to take the plunge and by the end,
I think six or seven
guys total were in the gaijin group who had signed up. Interestingly, none of the guys who had
participated last year were doing it again. I would have taken that as a hint, but these guys had
masculinity to prove.
While hanging out and eating my bento, I met a really neat Japanese woman who has an amazing amount in common
with me.
She skies at Winter Park every winter, which I did for many years, was an architecture major in college
(like me) but switched to computer science (like me) and even learned C++ like I did. Whoa, weird!
Because she had gone to a university in Nebraska (and apparently people always ask her, "Why?") her
English was good and so I stopped speaking Japanese pretty quick into the conversation.
Anyway, us girls (and few non-participating guys) took off to the festival about an hour later at 8pm and
walked up to the shrine.
Conveniently Located Bonfire The walk through the town to the hillside
shrine was so cute. Red and white spherical
lanterns on strings guided
us up the town streets, along homey little shops and over cute little bridges. It made me
wish every town would do this, just because the lanterns make even a drab street happy. Anyway, the people
I was with
walked over to a bonfire next to a canal. Lots of people on the other side of the canal were
poised with cameras. Was the bonfire that interesting?
At the fire, they were giving out free warm sake (in real cups even), but I passed on that
since I was driving later.
I hung out with everyone for awhile, saying hi to the kids and trying to ignore the feeling that everyone
was photographing me. The whole time I was thinking, "Aren't the Naked Guys in THAT direction?"
As it turns out, I'm glad I stayed! After a quarter hour or so, we heard repeated whistles that sounded like the
the whistles blown to keep the rhythm of people carrying a shrine. Now I was SURE we were missing something
at the shrine, but I was wrong. The men carrying the shrine came up the street, then right toward us!
We actually had to get out of the way! Without further warning, the men, in blue loincloths, jumped into
the canal! This was highly amusing and was the real reason all the cameras were lined up on the other end!
I can only imagine how cold it must
have been in previous years. Tonight was a little chilly, but was probably the warmest this February festival
has ever seen, the temperature being well above freezing.
We're Wearing Nothing But Loincloths! Let's Jump in the Water!
Men in Loincloths: Bring the Whole Family We made our way up to the shrine, passing takoyaki and
crepe stands along the way (including, my personal favorite, the stand selling chocolate-covered bananas on
a stick.) As we walked up stone stairs through red gates, we had to move aside as more men in loincloths
(including our boys!) ran up the stairs, chanting. I found some more people I knew (gaijin are easy to spot in
a crowd) who had gotten a good place early since they had come last year and knew what to expect.
As we waited for the
competition to start, we were treated to a Taiko show - men with VERY tight shorts banging drums.
(Here is picture of the show from a couple years ago.)
I love Taiko, even without the tight wiggly bun bonus, so that rocked.
It was hard to see because of all the people though. It was packed full of men, women, families, girls, boys,
grandmas,
grandpas... I guess Naked Men appeal to everyone. Then, we saw our guys! They were about to go into the dirt-floored square
in front of the shrine building, but we delayed them in the crowd and took MASSIVE amounts of pictures of their
buns. On their bodies were written random things in marker and their loincloths (literally a long piece of
cloth that is cleverly wound about the private parts like a sumo sash) looked secure enough.
They acquiesced to the photos, being fairly drunk, loud, and happy. (A couple photos here are borrowed from
someone with a better camera than me - mine had trouble in the dark.)
Buns!
Wet, Muddy, Masculinity
When all the men (possibly over one hundred) finally entered the square, Fun Stuff ensued. First, everyone
marched around with their flags, getting warmed up. Then some priests (?) sitting in a tower
started repeatedly dumping buckets of water all over them! You could see the steam rising.
Eventually, the sound rose up and from above came... The Stick. Every single man in the area was trying to get at
that stick, even though it was apparently only the pre-round and not the round where the stick was worth money.
Men on the outskirts kept running
out to get more bucketfuls of water to throw. I had more fun watching the men running up and down the path getting
buckets than trying to see what was going on in the middle. There was a man in a red loincloth
guarding this stone bucket that everyone was getting their water from. He would often dump the water they
just got back on them. No one
cared. Four little kids were standing on a stone statue above the water-refilling station and shrieked whenever
the men splashed them. It was hilarious. I stayed on the ground level for the "Real" round of
trying-to-get-the-stick and was amazed to suddenly find a giant Blob of Tightly-Packed Men coming in my
direction, and fast. I made to move, though I noticed that the people around me were more interested in getting
a photograph than getting out of the way of being trampled by the muddy throng of masculinity. Though, I have
to admit, I snapped a photo myself.
In fact, I have never seen so many cameras in my life. EVERYONE had a camera. This is one serious
spectator sport. The men were so intense, they destroyed this stone pillar thing along the side, then kept going.
I heard a woman behind me explain, in halting English, that sometimes the competition goes on for ten to twenty
minutes after someone turns in the stick, because no one knows it is over.
Anyway, the first stick was thrown somewhat after 9pm and the last stick had been claimed before 10pm.
Bucket Master Gets A Taste Of His Own Medicine
Randomly Interviewed The mingling afterwards was nearly as amusing. The priests
threw down mochi to the crowd. Inside the wrapping of the mochi was a ticket that could apparently
be turned in for medicine (I guess they don't make any pretenses about how hurt the participants can get.)
Men were posing for pictures and doing interviews. We
foreigners (and we actually were not the only group there) were especially popular. So popular in fact,
that a guy with a blindingly bright camera even grabbed me and asked if it was my first time. I had no idea
if he wanted me to talk in English
or Japanese, he was just pointing the camera at me, so I randomly said "This is my first time to the Naked
Man Festival, Hajimete, Bikkuri Shimashita!
Oh My God!" With all the cameras everywhere, I have no doubt I'm in several photographs and
videos (and our boys likely made it on the news even.)
The Naked Man Festival
Aftermath Aside from this weird, drunk gaijin (who looked vaguely familiar) in
a loincloth hitting on me (his Japanese friends had to pull him away)
while I waited for my friend's fried squid to cook, in general it
was a WHOLE lot of fun. I kept laughing and laughing, especially since the guys had such a great
attitude about it all (though I should ask them again when they've sobered.)
When I left to drive the other Melissa home, it seemed like they were going to try to fit 15 people
in Rhodri's apartment overnight. I would have loved to see that!
In the end, wearing waterproof shoes was the best decision
I didn't realize I had made. People in regular shoes (including the paritcipants whose shoes were nothing more
than glorified socks) had muddy freezing feet, while mine were dry and toasty. I made it home pretty late,
after 1am, but it was worth it.